So, I thought God was telling me to do something and I was either wrong, I missed my shot, or God's working in His time and I have to be patient. Either way, He's faithful and I suppose He'll show me in the long run. Maybe I was getting ahead of myself. I don't feel discouraged, I feel like I just have to hang on and keep praying and that is the best I can do.
It still amazes me how much He has changed me inside. So many old ways of thinking and bad habits have been so easily overcome and I can't take any credit. I remember thinking before I came a Christian "there's no way I could do all of this," and I was right, I couldn't (not alone, anyway). I have tasted the grace of God and it has given me the power to overcome things I used to think and do that I thought I never would and I don't miss them at all. I constantly look back at the one night I really broke down and God put the choice in front of me, either Him or the world. I chose Him some of the changes were literally instantaneous. This is not to say that I don't still struggle with certain things and I know I will for my whole life but I know as long as I keep leaning on Him no matter big the problems seem they'll eventually fall, it's just that simple.