So my coworker Ben says to me one day at 4:25 am as we're walking into work, "Morning. Did you know there are people living in the core of the earth?"
I replied, "I'll bet they have monorails."

As he walks into my trailer, "Did you ever think about how racist Rudolph is?"

Today as he came to help me with something, "We should just all become pirates, it'd be awesome until the FBI caught us."

I liked the pirate idea the best because we said we could hijack Fedex trucks. We would wait by the guard shack and then suddenly ropes with grappling hooks would be thrown from the bushes and we'd climb on. We would draw our curved blades, plunder, then make off with all the booty. When the authorities did catch us we would have a long, drawn out sword fight.