This is really long...

A Deeper Surrender

"18As Jesus was getting into the boat, the man who had been demonpossessed begged to go with him. 19Jesus did not let him, but said, "Go home to your family and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you." Mark 5:18-19

"15 O Lord, open my lips,and my mouth will declare your praise. 16 You do not delight in sacrifice, or I would bring it; you do not take pleasure in burnt offerings. 17 The sacrifices of God are [a] a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise." - Psalm 51:15-17

Many times in as young Christians we become fixated with sacrifice. Now, I’m not downplaying the significance of sacrifice, I want to address what I am learning it to be. Frequently in the bible people look to the disciples who left their lives and everything they knew when Jesus said, "follow Me." At some point, we’re called to follow Him, to set everything aside, realize the futility of this life and all that is has to offer and cry out ‘Your will be done.’ We latch onto Jesus putting all else to the way side to be everything we can be for Him. The motives are mostly right and I have faith that God works with that. What is often forgotten is that God does not "delight in sacrifice," the true sacrifices of God are "a broken spirit, a broken and contrite heart" (Psalm 51:16-17). God demands our hearts but He does not demand other things, like "burnt offerings" or things that we have. He needs nothing, the sacrifice of His only begotten Son was the perfect sacrifice and it is our continuous acceptance of that sacrifice and our identification with it and Christ that He wants. Jesus called the twelve disciples specifically, He didn’t stand somewhere and say ‘I need twelve, so whose with Me?’ He approached each of them in their individual circumstances and called them. When Jesus and the disciples were in Gerasenes, Jesus cast demons out of a tormented man and put them into swine who threw themselves from a cliff (Mark 5). This man ran towards Jesus, threw himself at His feet and cried "what do you want of me, Jesus, Son of the most high God?" after being delivered of his torment the man was very thankful and he begged Jesus to go with Him (Mark 5:18). Jesus didn’t say come and follow me, He "did not let him, but said ‘Go home to your family and tell them how much the Lord has done for you, and how he has had mercy on you.’" (Mark 5:19). He wasn’t demanding that man leave his life and family, but to be with them and be a light unto them. What was important was the man’s broken heart and spirit and his willingness to do anything that Jesus said. Peter declared, "we have left everything to follow you" (Mark 10:28) and "I will never disown you" (Mark 26:35). Indeed, Peter had left everything to follow Jesus but he took pride in his devotion and denied Jesus and fell asleep in the garden. He also sliced off the guard’s ear, what does this tell you? He saw what he had given up and he had an elitist attitude as a result. So did John when he said he saw someone casting out demons in Jesus’ name and they tried to stop him, but Jesus said "do not stop him...for whoever is not against you is for you" (Luke 9:50).

To take up your cross and to love not your life is a little different for everyone. It is the surrender of your heart, your dreams, your desires - your will. When you have done that, you have accepted the sacrifice of Christ, the power of sin has been broken and you are now a slave to righteousness (Romans 6:17-18). Surrender is done daily, it is continually surrendering in faith your heart and being obedient to God out of love and devotion. From that, we cut the things which don’t bring fruit out of our lives. The more we align ourselves with Christ the less we will want those things. We are commanded to do all to the glory of God, that doesn’t mean everything we do has to be hard. When we sacrifice that which isn’t asked to be sacrifice we are taking control from God, essentially saying "you didn’t ask for this but I’m giving it up to make myself grow."

Is there a time for fasting? Of course. Those temporary times are times when we seek God for Him and Him alone. When we return to the point of it all, which is that Jesus is everything. It’s a time when we reevaluate how we might have gone astray, what isn’t bringing fruit to our lives anymore, and what we’ve outgrown. These are times like the man in Gerasenes when we run to Jesus and fall at His feet and He might ask you to go somewhere, or having gotten right with Him, He might say ‘go back to where you were.’ Whether you’re asked to go somewhere or go back isn’t the point, it’s that you’re being obedient to God. Maybe during this time we’ve spent less time with people or doing certain things, at the end of this we can go back to the things which Christ allows us to have but with a different attitude. Paul writes about our individual walk in Romans 14, "one man considers one day more sacred than another; another man considers every day alike. Each one should be fully convinced in his own mind. He who regards one day as special, does so to the Lord. He who eats meat, eats to the Lord, for he gives thanks to God; and he who abstains, does so to the Lord and gives thanks to God." Paul goes on to explain that this is the reason why Christ died, for this reason Christ died and returned to life so that he might be the Lord of both the dead and the living." You cannot judge others based on the sacrifices of your walk with Christ, for "everyone will give an account for himself" before God. However, if you’re doing something that is a "stumbling block" to someone else’s walk you should put away around him/her out of love for that person so that you are not a hindrance to them, "Therefore let us stop passing judgment on one another. Instead, make up your mind not to put any stumbling block or obstacle in your brother's way" (14:13). Paul writes that "nothing in and of itself is unclean except to him that esteems it to an unclean level" (14:14). If someone else considers something unclean, out of respect and love for them refrain from it in their presence. For those that consider something unclean consider that someone who you know that does it might not have esteemed it to an unclean level as you have in your walk. This section of the letter however comes after Paul writes about being a living sacrifice and being responsible towards higher powers. The things Paul talks about in Romans 14 are, I believe, what you do for fun or recreation, which are important. If you don’t take time to rest, to enjoy things that God has blessed you with (doing them to His glory) you will burn out, you’ll fail. These things cannot take precedence over or negatively affect things like your devotional time with God, your service to the body, your relationships with family and friends, and your responsibilities towards people in authority.

True surrender is an act of complete obedience, in that obedience there are sacrifices but sacrifice isn’t always obedience, let God lead and follow obediently laying aside things which He asks you to. Do no more and no less because in either case it’s you trying to be in control of the rate of your growth.