I got to thinking about boats and how they’re mentioned a few times throughout Luke. Jesus gets into Simon’s boat and asks him to cast out his nets, to which Simon complains a little but he obeys. As a result he is blessed with more fish than him or his boat could handle. The funny thing is that as soon as they get to land He tells Simeon to abandon all of it and follow Him. Those of you who, like me, love seafood might be thinking "why the waste of good fish, God?" It wasn’t a wasted blessing, it achieved its purpose; to show Simeon how unworthy he was to be blessed so abundantly, to drive him to want to be completely devoted to Jesus. The blessing wasn’t there for Simeon’s enjoyment, it was there to show God’s goodness. I know if I were Simeon I’d want to sit down and have myself the fish fry of the century. The real blessing was witnessing a miraculous sign of Jesus’ power, and the unworthiness was a key part of it. He didn’t sit and wallow in his unworthiness and he didn’t get up and assume that he deserved the blessing and become fixated on it. Jesus beckoned and he followed. Yeah, it’s that simple and that hard.

Then we have the guy at Gerasenes who had a radical experience with being delivered from demons. He runs to Jesus and asks to follow Him, but Jesus tells him to go back. Again, I ask "God, what’s the deal? He would have made one heck of a disciple." Sometimes we’re asked to abandon spiritual blessings for the sake of others and that is a real tough one. We cry "Jesus I just want you" and He answers "Go to them." Obviously, He never leaves you but sometimes we see God moving in a great way and we want to jump on the boat but He asks you to be spent somewhere else. I look at that guy who had enough faith in Jesus that he walked away from Him visibly, didn’t feel abandoned and told everyone in his town about great Jesus was and the people welcomed Jesus when He came back (Luke 8:40).

I know I’ve been blessed a lot lately and at first it threw me for a loop. The blessings aren’t for me, they’re there for me to offer to God, to deepen my appreciation and devotion for Him. That is how blessings really bless your life, not just answering a need or desire, they lead you to closer to God. They help you to abide more in the fear of the Lord, to show His goodness. Miracles require faith and are granted to give more faith, so that we can witness God’s greatness. I felt callings over my life when I got serious with God and I jumped up and down for joy but then, peculiarly enough, I see Him sending me to the police force. I trust in the callings, but I feel Him asking "how much are you willing to give?" Am I willing to go so far as to say that I even surrender my calling? When He tells me to be in the every day dealing with people, to interact with them in ways that aren’t comfortable for me. Am I willing to have everything change in the blink of an eye? So many times I hear doing "great things" for God would be going to the nations or doing something grand in our minds. I’m not downplaying anyone’s dreams here, they might be from God, take it up with Him. What if His plan is for you to be in some small town in Utah for the rest of your life? To be spent so that two people are saved and they go off and witness to millions? Are we willing to never see the fruits of our labor?

What is faith? Is faith believing in Him doing amazing things according to our minds? Or, is it saying "I don’t care what it takes, I’ll be hated, I’ll be the doormat, I don’t have to be a super pastor who preaches to millions, or a ‘great’ missionary who travels all around the world...I’ll be whatever it is you want me to be regardless of what men think." Lofty, challenging statement isn’t it? I am praying for that kind of devotion because, quite frankly, I don’t have it. I want to be married one day, I want to be a pastor of a church, I want to prophecy and preach to lots of people. I want to lay the "Godly" desires on the altar because, lets be honest, even things we think are holy are sometimes tainted with a measure of selfishness. The real question to ask is, do I want to be lifted up or do I want to lay myself down so that Christ might be lifted up in me?