so, I don't have a premeditated message, I am just going to write about random thoughts and feelings. this might sound harsh, but just follow me. I don't care for looking ahead at the future, it's really been a big waste of time. the future is now, it's being determined by what God is asking me to do today. I hear too much stuff like "oh, I'm not called to do that," out of my own mouth and others. I am called to love and serve God, I don't care whether it's as an evangelist, preacher, teacher, prophet, missionary, fedex ground package handler, fireman, shoe salesman...you get the friggin' point. it's called a walk in faith, that doesn't mean I sit here and wait for God to shine light on my next step. it means I walk, I do things I do and don't have a preference for and trust that God will open some doors and shut others. God will speak when He knows I'm ready. I don't care about success as the world measures it, or even as some churches measure it. I don't care about the number of saved souls, I'd rather see one person saved and discipled to a life completely surrendered to Christ than one hundred people who get saved and do nothing. my sensei used to say "I'd rather one good pushup than ten crappy ones." I'm tired of insisting on what I'm called to do, that is complete arrogance. I've found discernment is keeping things simple, clinging to the simple promises of God regardless of circumstances. the complication comes with feelings, people, events and places that attempt to steal peace and joy from my life. I've tried too many times to see what God is doing in a situation before it's over and that's just stupid. I don't have to know unless He wants me to know, I know when I hear God because He is God not because of I have thought about things long enough. I'm at peace but I'm fed up with all of this and so until God speaks to me about the future, about a direction, I am going to "take up my bed and walk" not lay on it. the question on whether I can do something for God isn't "what am I good at?" it's "do I have the Holy Spirit?" What I'm good or bad at has its place but I don't care to think about it anymore.

so much for not having a message...