this is a first draft of a free verse poem that I just wrote:


When will I see past myself?

I remember my sin
I remember him who stood to condemn me

I remember my wounds
him who stood to stab me
each slice, each cut was deliberate and precise

I remember entertaining him
I remember believing the lies
being seduced by his promises

I remember seeing the mirror
seeing the cuts, the scabs, the bruises

I remember hearing his jeers
I felt the pain and then the numbness
as he drugged me
lured me
with more promises

I remember stepping into the light
and seeing the darkness
I remember the mirrors everywhere
seeing myself
wretched
poor
blind
naked

I remember seeing Jesus
the needles filled with apathy
couldn’t numb the pain

my accuser’s promises no longer stirred me
his touch now made me vomit

I remember my riches
my Lover giving me his garment
his gentle hands lifting my head to see

when will I no longer look back to the mirrors?
when will I look to him with a single eye like the dove?

my accuser stands condemned
who is he to condemn me?
I can hear my Savior’s voice calling me
"look away from the mirrors
gaze at me my love."