Today was an awesome day mainly because of an hour (or more) that Alicia, Debbie, Heather, Jake and I spent in prayer and worship. It wasn't planned at all and the Holy Spirit spoke so much it was phenominal. A big thing we were all getting, something that brought us to tears was breaking formulas. For too long Christians have been living on formulas in their walk and it extends to the way we see people. All this emphasis on saying the sinner's prayer and all the regulations and boundaries that we use to define Christianity. Somewhere after the intense moments I think we listen to sublte suggestions, we forget to be like children, we start becoming yoked into slavery when we're supposed to be free and showing others freedom. Paul spoke so much about this in Galatians, he really summed it by writing; "The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love" (5:6). Our faith and love are intertwined and if we love and trust and love God than that will express itself in our love for one another. I'm learning to be blatantly honest with God in prayer, I do all my complaining to Him, I repent for unbiblical feelings (like anger and resentment towards God) but I still tell Him how I feel but in the midst of those feelings is when I know I have to choose to love and trust God and that is when God helps me endure. Bring it all to Him, nothing you do makes you worthy in God's sight, it's only Christ that does that. Bring Him all the feelings - good, bad and ugly. No one cares more than He does. It's all about Him - I think if you want to increase your faith, focus on how faithful Jesus is, increase your love, meditate on His great love. In beholding Christ with the eyes of our heart we are transformed, the more we lift Him up in our thoughts the more free reign the Holy Spirit has within us.

These are the verses from Galatians 5 that we were really on my heart this afternoon:
"You who are trying to be justified by law have been alienated from Christ; you have fallen away from grace."
"You were running a good race. Who cut in on you and kept you from obeying the truth?"
"You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature...The entire law is summed up in a single command: "Love your neighbor as yourself""

We have to stop trying to do things to justify ourselves before God so as to expect that from others and judge them. We're free, not to sin like crazy, but freed from judgment and having to live up to a standard on our own power by man made rituals or rules. We are free to love God with all of our might, to meet with Him and have interactions with Him that aren't designed for anyone else but you. How personal and intimate is Jesus to us? I asked God today at church to speak to me, I didn't want anyone else, don't get me wrong, I need prayer just as much as anyone else and I love my friends and family, but ultimately the One that I need is God and I wanted something just from Him. I didn't get it that moment but a few minutes later, He spoke to me using a specific memory to convey something about Himself that brought me to tears and encouraged me like nothing else ever could. I know if I told some people what it was, they might say "aww" or something like that but no one will ever understand that moment, as well as other moments, and that's okay because it's strictly between God and I. I am His and He is mine.